superwomanlmm

Whose time is it anyway?

2007-06-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

I am a huge snuggler, as a little girl I loved cuddling with my mom and dad. When my brothers were little I loved it when they climbed up on my lap and sat with me. In my teenage years my favorite times were when I was babysitting and holding a little one in my arms while they slept. College days, spooning was the thing. I love to snuggle. Some days just feel like curling up on the couch and cuddling days, but my only snuggling buddy these days is my kitten. Unfortunately she has a mind of her own and sometimes when I want to just sit and hold her, she doesn't want to be held. I own her, she's my cat, but the time I get to spend with her is according to her terms and her mood.

The other day when I wanted to cuddle and she just wanted to play I was thinking, that's just like us and God. My time with God is based on my terms, when I have free time, if I do that day. If I feel like reading the Bible or not, if it's a convenient time for me to pray or not.

I had to drop my kitten off at the vet to have her de-clawed and de-womanized a couple of weeks ago and what a mess she was when I picked her up. Jasmine never cries, it's almost like her voicebox is broken, she'll open her mouth and push with all her might but nothing comes out. As soon as she saw me she would not stop crying. She was covered in blood from the surgery and pawing at her cage only made it worse. When I got her home I changed into grubby clothes, grabbed a towel to wrap her in and just held her. As soon as I had her in my arms she stopped crying for the first time in half an hour and she just looked at me. She blead so bad that it soaked through the towel and onto my shorts, but I didn't mind I just wanted to hold her. She was so weak and tired that she did nothing but sleep for three days. I wanted so badly to help clean her up, but I had to let her do it herself because I could re-open her cuts and her saliva has an antibacterial in it to help her heal. She had to do it on her own. All I could do was hold her and hold her I did. One night I slept on the couch, laid a towel over my stomach (for the blood) and held her through the night. Since her surgery she has been the most cuddly cat ever and I love it! Last night she slept with her head on my stomach and her arm wrapped around my waist. She's so precious, I love her.

I believe that sometimes God allows us to go through hardships so we can draw closer to Him. I know for myslef whenever I'm going through a tough time I just cling to God for support and comfort. But we have to clean out own wounds, that's the hardest part because we have no strength left and it feels impossible. It's our mess to take care of, that's how we grow stronger (James 1:2-3 favorite verse ever). Through it all God is just wanting to wrap us in His arms and hold us, mess and all. It's through our trials that we desire His presence more. It's a shame that we need the hard times to make us realize what a good thing we have in Him.

Who Am I?

2007-05-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

As I was doing dishes tonight (they were way overdue) I was talking to God about where I am in life right now and I began thinking, "who am I?" That is a very complex question that's very difficult to answer because it's always changing. Who I am today is not who I will be tomorrow or who I was yesterday. Every year, month, week, day God is changing me and shaping me. Who am I? I don't know.

If you were to ask me that question 25 years ago I would say...
I am a baby
I am a daughter
I'm grandpa's pride and joy
I'm grandma's "Baby Bunting"
I am completely dependant on others

20 years ago...
I'm a kindergratener
I am a counter
I am a writter
I'm a Christian
I'm daddy's little girl
I'm a big sister
I'm Nana's rival for the remote control

15 years ago...
I'm a fifth grader
I am a total geek
I'm a four eyes
I'm friendless
I'm shy
I'm a bike rider
I'm a big sister to four

10 years ago...
I'm a freshman in high school
I'm still shy
I'm pretty lonely
I'm "the new girl"
I'm extremely insecure, but getting better
I'm a drama team leader

5 years ago...
I'm a freshman in college (again)
I'm a cafeteria server
I am a best friend
I am a youth major

4 years ago...
I'm a sophmore
I'm a Christian Education major
I'm a cafeteria cashier "clicker"
I'm the student fellowship association president
I'm a summer team member

3 years ago...
I'm a junior
I'm a D-group leader
I'm a cafeteria weekend worker
I'm a peg leg
I'm a fairly good ping pong player

2 years ago...
I'm a senior
I'm a girlfriend
I am the Blazer Deli Snackbar cook
I'm a Euchre fanatic

1 year ago...
I'm an intern
I'm single
I'm a friend
I'm a strong, mostly secure woman
I'm a mentor

Now...
I'm a youth pastor
I'm a Wisconsinite
I'm a home renter
I'm a cat owner

Hopefully one day...
I'll be a guitar player
I'll be a house owner
I will have a dog
I'll be a wife
I'll be a mother
I'll be a good cook
I'll be a woman of God

I'm still changing, growing, being molded and shaped into God's image. Everyday has new challenges and new trials to help bring me to maturity and completion (James 1:2ff) Who am I you ask... I don't know; it changes every minute.

All Creatures

2007-05-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

My thoughts are pretty scattered today, so I hope you follow what I'm trying to say.

Inspired by a friend's blog and in much need of some time alone with Jesus I went for a bike ride with just me and my Zune. The very fist song that came on was "All Creatures of Our God and King" sung by David Crowder.
"All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing
Oh praise Him, Halleluiah"
As I rode along thinking about the words, "all creatures" and "lift up your voice" I passed a few birds, a couple of emus, a lama, donkey, horse, and some goats. "All creatures...lift up your voice" All God's creatures are stirring with praise for Him. Even these creatures are able to lift up their voices and praise the King, yet we as people who are able to have a personal relationship with Christ don't give God the praise he's worthy of.
As the song continued...
"Though burning sun with golden beam
Though silver moon with softer gleam
Oh praise Him, oh praise Him Halleluiah..."
I looked at the bright sun that was warming my right side then something caught my eye on my left side, it was the moon. "Oh praise Him"
I got to thinking of the Luke 19:40 (thanks Matt) '"I tell"' you he replied, "if they keep quiet the stones will cry out."' Again, God's creation will praise Him and too often we fail to.
I continued on hearing the crickets over my music and the bugs hitting my teeth and sticking in my hair. Coincidently enough the Doxology came on,

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost"

The bugs didn't so much bother me even though I rode through swarms of nats and could feel 50 of them hitting my face every 5 minutes, but I thought "hmmmm, here are some more creatures to praise God's name"
My thoughts were pretty scattered, but overall I think we need to be more intentional about praising our Creator. My most intimate times with God are when I am just praising Him and sometimes life gets so distracting that I need that reminder.

PS. I really did see all those animals on my 16 mile bike ride.

Treasure

2007-05-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been extremely busy but awesome. We had a cookout with all our teens and their families and there was a total of 48 people there. We ate, gave out prizes, and played a game of kickball. I don't think I've played kickball since junior high and I'm just as bad at it now as I was then. I went for about a ten mile bike ride with my teens and went to a carnaval. It's very rare for me to get motion sickness, but I was so sick after about 3 rides and really sick after 6. My stomach was still woozy the next morning. I wonder if that comes with age? Also this weekend I watched the movie Pirates of the Carribean. At one point the ever so wise Jack Sparrow says, "treasure can be more than silver or gold." Jack has a compass that points to the one thing that you want the most and in the second movie his compass is very confused as to which way to point. I'm pretty sure that if I had a compass like that it too would not know which direction to point in. My question for you this time is what is your treasure? What is the one thing you want more than anything else? Matthew 6:21 says, "where your treasure is there your heart will be also." So where is your treasure, where is your heart?

You CAN Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

2007-05-01T13:50:00.001-07:00

First of all I'd like to congratulate all the 2007 Bethany graduates. Way to go guys! Welcome to the real world. When I graduated last year Pres Medders (the college president) challenged me to learn something new every year. Ever since this concept I've been praying about what I should focus my energy on this year. Well, instead of just focusing on and learning one thing, the Lord has placed several new tasks in my lap and I've really enjoyed learning. So far this year I've learned to be a youth pastor, to live on my own, to budget my money and pay my own bills. I've just started learning how to play guitar for the past few weeks. A few months ago I taught myself how to crochet and am in the process of making a purse. I just started learning how to make a quilt and it's going to look sweet Now I am learning to drive standard. I've known for several years now how to drive stick, but I've been really unsure of it and haven't driven on the road at all until last night. I started car shopping the other day and a few hours later my car gave up. Right now I'm borrowing a standard car from a couple in my church so I had to learn and I'm doing pretty good. This year has pretty much been a year of learning new tricks, things I've always wanted to learn and finally am. I love learning new stuff. What are some things you've been learning and challenging yourself to be stretched in?

AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2007-04-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have been just crazy busy lately, but it's been really good. Things are going great with my youth group. Easter week we had 5 teens make first time commitments to Christ and 3 re-commit their lives!!!!! God is doing some amazing things with our group and I'm so priveledged to be a part of it. I'm really excited for summer because I love warm weather and I get to go to all three district camps this year, kids camp, junior high, and senior high. This will be my fourth year in a row at senior high camp. I'm excited to see people from Bethany and I just love the whole camp experience (that's why I traveled for three years). This will be the first year that most of our kids have ever been to camp and it's going to be a ton of fun. As far as my personal life goes, my sister is moving in with me next month I believe. That will be interresting because we are polar opposites, but I think it will be good. I lived with Charity for a year I can handle my sister;) (Luv ya char bear). Oh, and something I'm extremely excited about is I'm learning how to play acoustic guitar. I've been wanting to learn for about 5 years now and I finally am doing it. And I was just given a fishing pole and tackle box so this year I will go fishing for the first time ever in my life! I can't wait. I also was given a bike for my birhtday so I've been spending a lot of time biking and I really enjoy it. I haven't been on a bicicle since probably 7th grade and my fist trip was 18 miles. Let me tell you I felt the burn the next day. So lots of new and exciting things are going on in my life and all is well.

Crazy Cat Lady

2007-03-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

I'm terribly sorry for the lack of postings lately. I have only been on the internet long enough to check my three email accounts and respond to any necessary messages. Life has been picking up and time on the computer has been extremely brief. Since my last post I have turned 25, a quarter of a century. On my birthday everyone I talked to got this far off look in their eyes and began remembering where they were in life at my age... married, bought their first house, x amount of babies and on and on. I'm starting to wonder what qualifications are needed to be a crazy cat lady...
1. living alone
2. having at least one cat
3. spending most of your time with your cat
4. scheduling your day around not leaving your cat home alone for too long
5. when people are taking about their children your cat stories fit in the
conversation perfectly
6. You walk in the house proclaiming, "honey I'm home" to your cat
7. You spend more time in the cat isle deciding what the best food is than you do in
the grocery department finding food for yourself
8. A "girls night out" has become you and your cat on the couch eating ice cream and
watching chic flix
9. You spend more money on toys for your cat than entertainment for yourself because
when your cat's happy you're happy
10. and your favorite part of the day is climbing into bed and cuddling with your cat

Did I miss anything?

Ministers and Mates?

2007-02-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

I went to this retreat last week called The Ministers and Mates Retreat. Basically what it is is all the Wesleyan pastors in Wisconsin and their spouses get together at a resort for three days and hang out and go to a few seminars and stuff. Being a Wesleyan pastor in Wisconsin I went. I was quite excited when I discovered where we were going. We stayed at the Three Bears Lodge in Jellystone Park, Yogi the Bear's Home! I got to see Yogi, Bobo and Cindy hybernating in their rooms, it was pretty sweet. Well, the first rally begins and they introduce all the new Pastors, of course (other than Chris Atkins who is engaged) I am the only single person there. About four or five couple were introduced and then me and the person introducing us concludes with, "So let's welcome these new couples...oh, and other people." There were comments like that made all three days. Honestly I was not offended in the least, I thought it was pretty funny because no one was sure how to address the single girl in the room. At one point someone turned around and said, "Lisa we need to find a handsome young man for you, you're just too pretty to be standing there alone." I confess I do agree, but in good time. It was great fun and I was able to connect up with some really good friends from my internship. I also got to go in a hot tube outside when it began snowing, it was beautiful and probably would have been very romantic had I had a "mate" with me, but that's ok, I'd better enjoy being single while I am able.

Long Time No Post

2007-01-16T14:46:00.000-08:00

I know, it's been quite a while since I've posted and a lot has happened in the past month. I ended up being able to go home to New York for Christmas with my family whom I haven't seen in a year (except for a few of them in April for graduation). I also saw friends I haven't seen in up to 3 years that I wasn't planning on seeing, so that was a great surprise. Two of my best friends have one year old babies now and they are both adorable. It's now 2007, a new year, another chance to start over and guess what, I have. I now, for the first time in my life live on my own. I have an appartment that's a 2 minute drive from the church and to keep from being lonely I got myself a kitten. Her name is Jasmine. She's super cute and I love her to death. That's kind of a quick runthrough of what I've been up to. Sorry I haven't updated lately, but being that I just moved I do not have internet at my new place yet. I'm waiting until I get a television so I can get the cable/internet package. When that day comes I'll be more on top of things. Don't lose faith in me, keep checking my blog.

I'll Be Home For Christmas

2006-12-11T13:10:00.000-08:00

They say home is where the heart is. I have many places I call home and many people I call family. All over the U.S. and Canda there are people I love and places I would love to be for Christmas. To everyone who is close to my heart, I'll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams.

I'm dreaming tonight
Of a place I love
Even more than I usually do.
And although I know
It's a long road back
I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas.
You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love-light gleams.
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams.

Planet Wisdom

2006-12-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

This weekend my youth group and I went on our first over night youth event. It was a four hour drive to Planet Wisdom and what a drive it was. I had four crazy girls in my car and we were rock'n to some sweet tunes the entire trip. When we arrived I was swarmed by a crazy bunch of Haywardians and I still don't know who all had a hold on me. It was such an awesome weekend for me and my teens. We really bonded for the first time since I've been here. For my group it wasn't about the music or the speaking or even the skit guys even though they loved it all, it was more about creating a unity that the youth in our church has never had before. This morning in church there was an entirely different atmosphere, everyone seemed excited to be there. We had a time of tesimonies in the service and I was so impressed with my kids. They did a great job sharing with the congregation how the conference touched their lives. This weekend was an awesome experience for me and has made a huge impact on my ministry.

Do I really look like these people?

2006-11-21T15:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, I stole this from Kirk's site because I thought it was really funny. I must say I am flattered by the people it said I look like. You should try it out.

Hallucinations

2006-11-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

I was watching a show late last night, early this morning called the 4400. I'd never seen it before and even though I was extremely tired I found myself caught up in the story. A new drug had been discovered that caused it's users to hallucinate. This drug was put in food, cookies mostly and distributed by one person, so those "using" the drug didn't realize they had been affected. The victims would begin seeing and having a conversation with a person from their past who they had unresolved issues with. These hallucinations would follow them around, bringing up the persons hurts from their past. In some cases it was an ex-boyfriend who had cheated, an abusive uncle who had passed away, or even a deceased father. Through the course of the show the characters discovered that the only way to rid themselves of this badgering imagination was to spend time with this person and after years of burrying the pain, dealing with it. At the conclusion the man distrubuting this drug was caught and shared that his intentions were to help people deal with their burried pain.

Throughout the show I found myself thinking, "if this were to happen to me, who would my hallucination be?" Who is the person or persons in my past that I still have burried bitter feelings toward? Are there people in my life that if standing in front of me right now would stir up all kinds of emotions I thought I had dealt with? Are there unresolved issues from my past that are affecting my life presently? Unforgiveness can ruin your life.

Nightmare

2006-11-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

Last week I took my teens to a Christian haunted house called Nightmare. It's put on by a church every year and it's like a reality thing. I was shaking the entire time because of the intensity of it all. You're rushed from one room to the next spending about three minutes in each area. One room is a morgue, another is a gang fight, there's a room with parents fighting and the next room a teen suicide. The room that hit me the hardest was when we were in hell. We were standing on this bridge and it was dark all around us, there were people hanging in cages and trying to climb up to us screaming out in total agony. My heart ached at the thought of hell and all its pain and suffering. Satan then appeared and gave a speach about the reason we were down there. One thing he said was, "You're not down here because you were a bad person, but because you wouldn't give your life over to the one who died for your soul and what good did it do you?" The next room was Christ being tortured followed by his death on the cross. The final room was a video of the senior pastor who hosts Nightmare. He shared the purpose of this reality haunted house is to show the issues that teens deal with today and help them realize that etenity is on the line. After 20 minutes of intensity you enter a large room with counselors who greet you to talk and pray with you. One of the teens who came with us accepted Christ! It was a really unique, neat experience. I've never been in a haunted house before and this one was so breath taking scary intense. I don't like being scared, but it was a really good night.

Fuel

2006-10-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to a youth convention in Indiannapolis. I left at 4am and arrived at about 5:30pm. It was exhausting, but awesome. I probably knew about 30 our of about 150 youth pastors. I didn't realize that there would be anyone there that I knew, but it was so refreshing for me to visit with old friends. It's amazing the impact a person can have on you when you only know them for a short period of time. Most of the people I knew were from youth camps that I've been to over the years. I only spent about 5 days with all those people and it was awesome how connected I felt to each of them. It made me think of how important it is to take every opportunity to pour into the lives of others. You never know how much of an impact you can make. The speakers at the Fuel Convention were awesome and I feel like my vision and my passion was restored. It's always difficult to start a life somewhere new and make all new friends and have to build relationships from the ground up so this time with other youth pastors and old friends really refreshed me. It was great to see you again Ben (and Loretta doesn't know you well enough for me to be embarased that you were my best friend so it was ok for you to say that ;)

I also made a surprise visit to Hayward on Sunday. I love seeing the look of surprise on people's faces and I got to see many of them. Not to mention the flood of hugs I recieved. It was so good seeing everyone and I think that was the best game of signs EVER! Hey Adam, "You can't do that, that's my sign." Good times, good times. Love you guys, see you again sometime soon.

Update

2006-10-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks since I've started my new job as youth pastor. It's been a lot of fun getting to know new people even though I miss old friends a lot. In the past week I've had dreams about people from Hayward, New York, Bethany, and Grand Manan it's been really weird because some of them have been mixed together. Youth group is going great so far. Before I came Sunday school averaged about six, but since I've been here we've had between ten and twelve. Wednesday nights have also had ten both weeks. I have two awesome leaders that have a passion for the youth and are a huge help to me. Since there's a sup-section of the church that's the "youth area" (a new name is on the way) I've been opening it up after school for the teens to come and hang out. So far I've had anywhere between 3 and 10 teens come and just chill. We've been working together to paint my office which has been a huge sacrifice for some of the teens because they really liked the paint job it originally had. It was all black with neon words everywhere. We painted it purple, but it was way too light and looked terrible, so we spongue painted a darker purple over it and it's a lot better now. Next we'll add some bright colors to it to lighten it up a bit. The window use to be boarded up, but now that's taken out so it's a lot brighter in there. This weekend I'm going to start taking some teens out for hot cocoa and some one on one time. So, in a nut shell that's where I am right now. Oh and just in case you're wondering (because everyone asks) there's no one my age here at all, so yes I am still very much single. The three questions people ask me when they first meet me, "where are you from?" "how did you end up in Wisconsin?" and "are you here alone, or (awkwardly) with a husband?" Let me tell you, there is no time for a man in my life. They're too distracting and time consumming, so being single right now is good.

Hayward, Oh Hayward

2006-10-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hayward, oh Hayward how much I love thee.
Those eight months with you meant so much to me.
The games, the pranks, the swims in the lake.
I laughed so hard how my stomach did ache.
I miss those cold fingers gently squeezing my throut.
And those wonderful gestures made at us while in Ben's boat.
I'm taking this time to say thanks for those days
A smile overtakes me as i picture your face.
Don't ever forget my vommitting sign
or the drama's we did that were quite like mimes.
Remember to drink daily from the well,
It quenches your thirst and saves you from hell.
You'll be in my heart, my thoughts and my prayers
The best place to die will always be the stairs.

I love you guys so much and can't wait to see you at Planet Wisdom!

Pastor Lisa...

2006-09-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin? I have a job in Wisconsin as a youth pastor. I begin October 1st and am so excited. They've never had a youth pastor before so I'm starting from scratch. Between 6 and 12 teens show up for Sunday school and family night so it's a very small group. There is a large section in the basement of the church that is dedicated to the youth that is just waiting to be painted and decorated. There's an open area for playing games like dodgeball and a couch area with a large screen tv. There's also about 4 classrooms that are used as storage right now, one of which will become my office. I can paint it and decorate it and furnish it however I want. I can't wait to see how God is going to use me in this next stage of my life. My question for you is do you have any ideas? Curriculum, decorating thoughts, outing suggestions? I need all the help I can get. This is a huge responsibility and I'm up for the challenge but just trying to figure out how and where to begin.

Back To School Bash

2006-09-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

I was in charge of this years annual back to school bash. All the planning, programing, set up, the whole ordeal was up to me. I have not been able to barely breath for the past two weeks because there was so much stuff to get done. I had no idea how many kids to expect especially because we had youth groups from all over Wisconsin coming. What an adventure it was. Things turned out extremly well. Everything went very smoothly and there were no major problems at all. We almost made it through the evening without having to call an ambulance, but right at the very end of the night while we were getting cleaned up a girl had an asthma atack. When she had recooperated I thanked her because it wouldn't have been a real youth event without the ambulance showing up. I divided the kids up into 8 teams of about 16 kids each. There were three stations going on at one time with two games at each station. The kids signed up for two stations during the first hour (so they played 4 games) then they signed up for different events in the relay race. In total we had 19 games to be played. When you bring together a mud pit, slippery tarps, pudding, oatmeal, spaghetti, jello, sardines, syrups, shaving cream, and many other gross itmes you're bound to have a great time. At the end of the night everyone was completly dirty and sticky, so we called in a fire truck and had them all hosed off. It was a great night. Thanks so much to everyone who helped me, I couldn't have done it without you!

Time Is Ticking Away

2006-08-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a very long time since my last post and it was kind of a depressing one at that. I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to barely breathe. I have a ton of things to get done before my internship ends around Labor Day, I've been working at a private resort as a waitess, I've been job searching, and I still have internship papers to turn in that are way past due. I had so much on my mind last night that I just laid in bed thinking of everything that's coming up in the next short while. I'm preaching at youth group tomorrow and I have an idea of what I want to say, but nothing is written down yet, I'm planning the back to school bash for about 250 teens which is in 2 weeks, I'm looking into buying a car, thinking about getting all my stuff from home, wanting to find ways to visit friends before I begin the "work force", and I have a job interview tomorrow for a youth pastor position in Wisconsin. I laid there thinking of how much time I was waisting not sleeping and not doing anything else, so at 2am I got up and used my time productively cleaning my bathroom (which was way overdue). It's so nice to have a clean bathroom. I'm so tired today that I have to keep closing my eyes every once in a while because they hurt so bad. I ended up only getting about 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Life has just been incredibly crazy and there aren't enough hours in the day. I can't wait to have a job and be able to pour all my energy into one thing instead of being torn in like 5 directions.

Lost

2006-07-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like though you were surrounded by people you were all alone? Completely lost in the crowd? For the last couple of days I have felt so incredibly lonely and I don't know why. People have been showering me with love and I know they're genuine, but I still feel empty. I have this deep aching in my heart for past relationships. I long for friendships that I've lost touch with over the years or even months. I'm so tired of investing in people and becoming so bonded to them then having to leave and not see them again. I miss family, friends from high school and college and yes Grand Manan, campers that I've become extremely close to over the summers I've traveled, and even the people here; I've been so busy lately I haven't spent time with anyone in what seems like forever. I'm working two jobs now and life has just been go, go, go. My internship has been extended until September which is awesome and I'm waitressing at a private resort which has been a ton of fun. I've just been so busy and all this thought about the future and where I'm going and what I'm doing is just stressing me out so much. This whole "growing up" thing has just got me thinking way too much. I'm probably thought about just about everyone I've ever met in the past week and I'm just missing so many people right now. Ok, that's enough of my whinning for the night. I'm off to youth camp tomorrow and I can't wait to see people from Bethany.

God had it covered!

2006-07-12T21:20:00.001-07:00

Tonight was youth group and I was on my own. The senior and junior high youth pastors are out of town and I was left responsible for both groups. Normally the two are totally seperated the entire night and have no interaction with each other. I only work with the senior highers so I know very few junior highers and had no idea what to expect. I also didn't know how many other leaders would show up, for all I knew it would only be me. I was just informed a few days ago that the person scheduled to preach would not be able to make it so it was up to me. We just finished a series and are getting ready to begin a new one, so a random sermon would be really awkward. After praying about it for a while and consulting with some people I decided that we would use this time for our mission teams to share about their trips. We sent out a group of youth to New Orleans and another to Washington D.C. I had planned on asking one of the leaders (whom I thought was going to lead worship)to put together a slide show for me of the teams' pictures. Well, this afternoon I realized that he was gone for the week. Oh no. Right before this discovery someone msned me saying she would help put together the slide show if I needed it. Well, that was covered, but what about worship? Our other worship leader is taking some time off from youth group now and spending time with his family. Hmmm... Just then I heard some music coming from the sanctuary. Oh snap! There were a couple of guys in there just jamming and I knew they had both the ability and love for Christ enough to lead us in worship tonight. They gladly accepted as this would be their first chance to actually lead worship. To start with it was only them; one singer, an acoustic and an electric guitar. As service approached we gained a drummer and two more vocalists. They did a great job! The entire evening went smoothly and it was great to hear all the adventures the teams had been on. There also ended up being six other leaders so I wasn't alone. During all the confusion falling through of plans, I somehow didn't get stressed at all. God completely held me in His hands and carried me through. What a faithful God have I.

What to do, what to do...

2006-06-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

<--- Katie, Me, and the girls of Madeline Island

Life has been extremely busy lately. I counseled at kid's camp for a week. It was a ton of fun! I was in a cabin with 12 3rd and 4th graders by myself. They were amazing. I had them asleep every night by 11:30 and they didn't wake up until I woke them at 7:00. It was a great time for me to get to know the girls a lot better and to really pour into their lives. We had some awesome devotions together and powerful prayer times. It's all about having child-like faith.

This past weekend we hosted district conference at our church. I helped out and led the children's sessions in the morning and evenings along with the youth activities at night. Talk about long days. I was at the church from 9:00am till 11:00pm. But of course I had a lot of fun. It was really good seeing so many people that I've met over the years, sort of like a reunion.

Today we had a car show at the church to raise money for a Guatala mission trip and I ran a car wash for our teens mission trips. Again I was at the church all day, except today I was outside and loving it. We washed about 20 cars and I got a little sun burned and pretty wet. Good times, good times.

As far as future plans go; there's still nothing set in stone, but I think I'm going to see about getting a job in town for the summer and continue to look for a more permanate possition. And here's a question for you... A lot of people are looking for youth pastor possitions for me, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I think that because I'm so close in age to the older youth, and percieved as younger because I'm single and not really tied down to anything I wouldn't really be looked at as a leader or an athority figure, I'm more seen as a companion or friend. So the question is leader or companion? Do you think I would be ready for a youth pastor possion, or do I need to wait a while? Of course if God's tells me to be a youth pastor I'll go, but this is just something I've really been thinking about lately.

Madeline Island

2006-06-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

Madeline Ferry

Katie, Phil, Adam, Dan, and Me

Nice shot Adam

What do you have there widdle Katie?

What a perfect day!

This weekend I went to Madeline Island with some friends. What a perfect day it was. The ferry ride was about 20 minutes long then we just walked around the island for a few hours. We went to the museum, I'm not really a fan of history but I really like museums a lot. We went to the beach for a while, soaked up the sun and went kayaking. We had a great time!

It was a totaly different island experience from what I was expecting. At first I thought, "Island, it must be like Grand Manan. Then I was told that it was really small and not many people lived on it so I picuted Woods Island. I was way off. Not many people live there, but it's a major torist atraction. There were all kinds of little shops and places to eat and things to do. It was really sweet. They say, "If it's tourist season why can't we shoot them?" then that means we should have been shot because we were tourists. And I must admit, I like being a tourist, it's fun seeing new things and learning about different places.

Last night a family here threw me a graduation party and quit a few people showed up. They made me stand on the table and give a speech, I hate being put in the center of attention. I love the people here so much. I can't believe my internship is almost over already. So much has happened and it seems like it's only been such a short time. Life goes by so fast. Friends come and go, but the memories never leave. So many people have been so close to my heart over the years, some who will never know how much they've impacted my life. Sometimes I wish God wouldn't have made me such a relational person because it makes it that much more difficult to put the past behind and step into a new life. I have the hardest time saying goodbye and letting go. I hate moving on.

I Love Sunshine!

2006-05-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful week it has been. Warm, sunny, and busy. I went for a job interview in Minneapolis for a children's director possition. It was a really good experience and I think the interview went well, but I didn't get that, "Yes, this is where God wants me" feeling. So I'm still looking. This weekend was graduation, AKA party time! I went to a few graduation parties and hung out with some of the seniors all weekend. I pretty much was only home to go swimming in the lake a couple of times. I had two sleepovers, a bon fire, and a ton of pot lucks. Sunday night a few of us layed out on a dock, looking up at the stars for a couple of hours. It was such a nice night out that I was half tempted to sleep there if it were all girls. One of these nights I'm going to sleep out under the stars by the lake in my back yard. Thanks to all of the Hayward youth for letting an old lady such as myself hang out with all you young-uns. You guys rock!!!!! It's going to be so hard to leave, but I think good old Michael says it best, "Friends are friends forever when the Lord's the lord of them..." ;)

Sweet Shades

2006-05-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

These are some sweet sunglasses I picked up a couple of weeks ago. I have not posted in a while because I've been super busy the last couple of weeks. Tonight was the talent show for youth group. Me and three others did the dance to "Bye Bye Bye" It was awesome, we all wore wife beaters and bandanas around our arms. It was sweet. The last few days whenever I've had free time it's gone into practicing for that. I had my last Junior Followers on Monday (sadness) and it was so much fun doing that. I've made some really good friendships with the youth here so I've been spending a lot of my free time with them. It's going to be so hard to leave here in 7 weeks. This is pretty much the first place where I've ever really truly felt at home. Like I'm actually a part of a family of believers. I'm so scared to have to go out into "the world" and find a job. I don't want to have to start all over again building relationships and fitting in and finding my "groove." I'm feeling super weighed down by having to make this future affecting decission. I know God has a plan for me, but sometimes it's just hard to sit and wait and trust. Especially when I need to start taking action and making decissions pretty soon. It's such a big world.

Goodbyes are sad.

2006-05-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

One chapter done, time to begin a new one.

2006-05-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

Graduation was awesome! It was great to see friends and family again, but it was really hard saying goodbye. I pretty much cried the entire three hour drive home. The last four years of my life have been completely unforgetable. So many memories flood my mind from my first semester exposier to Tim Horton's with some guys I did not want to go with to the great story of the broken leg to my last semester here on my internship. So many things change over the years like who would have ever thought Blakie would be getting married or that Tim would get himself a girlfriend? Well, as I was determined from the beginning, no ring by spring for me (I'm still waiting to get my money back). Yes, lots of memories, changes, and growth spurts have occured over the past short while.

Now it is time to move on, turn over a new leaf, close the book and open a new one. This is where life gets scary. Where do I go from here? What do I do? How can I make it on my own? I'm trying my hardest not to be overwhelmed with thoughts of the future and just allow God to open doors for me. One day at a time.

To my brothers and sisters at BBC, I love you all so much and will miss you a ton.
To my family, "I'll be home for Christmas, you can plan on me...if only in my dreams"
To Grand Manan, thanks for welcoming me to your Island last semester, you've become a home away from home.

Sleepover's Are Fun!

2006-04-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted, things have been super busy. I've had a ton of school work to finish for my directive. DOCTRINE OF HOLINESS IS DONE!!!! I had a fun and tiring weekend of sleepovers in the midst of my assingments. Last weekend I went to a birthday party sleepover with a 9 year old. I was the only friend she invited. It was a lot of fun. We were at a waterpark hotel. I went up and down the water slide so many times that I need a new bathing suit. Carlee asked me if I would stay up late with her until 10:15pm. After getting back from that I cleaned the house and hosted a sleepover for my small group. We played girly games, ate junk food, and did facials. None of the girls had used a face mask before. It was a great first time experience for them. I did not get to bed as early for this sleepover, but it was worth it.

This weekend we had an Egg-Stravaganza (Easter egg hunt) at the church and I led kids' worship and helped supervise. I took a nap in the sunshine on a blanket next to the beautiful lake (pictured above). It was so relaxing and I haven't taken time for myself in a while so that was much needed. For Easter I was in charge of a drama, The Champion with about 17 people in it. It was awesome! So things have been really busy, but really good at the same time. Next week I leave for graduation and I can't wait to see everyone! But I'm going to have a really hard time saying goodbye.

The Big Kick Off!

2006-04-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

Junior Followers started today and we had 30 kids come! It was so much fun. We played games, had a snack, sang songs, our guest Bible character shared about Jesus feeding the 5,000, and we made lunch boxes. Things went very smoothly and we only went over about ten minutes. Next time we'll do an easier craft. I forgot how fragile kids are at this age. We had a line up of kids who were "hurt" from the games. They were all easy boo boos to fix though. About five parents came to be a part of this ministry too. That was awesome! I'm so exhausted, but I had so much fun. Little kids are so cute.

Crazy Busy

2006-03-27T15:53:00.000-08:00

I have not left a post in a while becuase I have been super busy and loving it! I've been housesitting for about a week and it's been great having sort of my own place and somewhere that I can have company over. I had 14 people over for supper the other day. It was so much fun. I made chicken ritz, salad, rolls, and brownies. We also had soup, chips, and pop. We played some games and watched Chicken Little. I've been finishing up the final detail with Junior Followers which starts in one week, I can't wait. My supervisor has been away, so I've been doing a lot of his stuff, Sunday school and other things. I'm leading a drama team now and we're performing a drama on Wednesday and Saturday as well as working on one to do Easter Sunday. I'm preaching at the Lenten Service this Wednesday. I'm doing homework. I'm getting to know a lot of the youth and really enjoying hanging out with them, so being the queen of procrastination that I am, "work" has been not getting done as much as socializing. So life has been busy, but good at the same time. I can't wait till graduation when I get to see everyone!!!! And for those of you who keep asking there is no boy yet, no time and no desire.

My Baby

2006-03-16T09:42:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process now of really focusing on the ministry I am creating for the church. It's called Junior Followers for k-2nd graders. We're starting on April 3rd and meeting every other week from 3-5. I ordered a bunch of fun stuff online for the kids to play with. We're getting some really cool dodgeballs (soft, no hurt ones), bean bags to throw around, jump ropes, a couple of the big cage balls, and best of all a 30 foot parachuete with 24 handles on it. I loved playing with those in gym class those were my favorite days. We're handing out fliers this week and starting to really talk it up and advertise. I'm so excited, it's going to be so much fun.

As far as future plans, I am going to graduation in April and I can't wait to see everyone. I have about 4 months left of my internship then I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. God is going to have to open some doors really wide to show me where He wants me. Normally God doesn't let me know things until the last minute when it's almost too late. Then I have a ton of planning to do in not too much time, but He always comes through. I really like it here and would love to stay, but God would have to open up some doors and make it clear that this is where He wants me.

Always Let Your Donkey Be Your Guide

2006-03-09T08:14:00.000-08:00

Last night I preached in youth group about the story of Balaam's donkey (Numbers 22ff). It was a lot of fun. I started off with a clip from Shrek. The part where they're selling the magical creatures and donkey won't talk until he starts flying. I shared a little about the history of Balaam's story and then got into my sermon.

The Three Ways To Keep Your Foot From Being Crushed (Balaam's Do's and Don'ts)
1. Ask God first (Good job Balaam)
2. Do what God says (Good job Balaam the first time)
Why did God tell Balaam he couldn't go the first time, then he could go and then get angry at him for going? Because God didn't want Balaam to go. He knew from God's first answer that he was not supposed to go, but when he went to God the second time he wanted to go and probably begged God a bit. God's response was, "Ok, go if you want to go, I'm not going to force you to do anything.) So Balaam took as as "Yay, I can go!" God gets mad at him because he knew in his heart he shouldn't have gone. God allowed him to make his own decission and he chose wrong, knowing what the right thing to do was.
3. Follow God's path
The angel was trying to redirect Balaam through his donkey, but he insisted on going his own way. The donkey points out to him that he has always been able to trust her in the past, why is he not now? When you're caught in sin the people around you who you usually trust all of a sudden "don't know what they're talking about." You justify what your doing then have to justify your justification and get caught in a jusification snowball so you can no longer see the light. Justification is a killer of Christians. Accountability is key!
4. If you've gotten your foot crushed there is hope!
Balaam repented and God used him to bless the Israelites. God can still use you and He will. Balaam then turned against God again and ended up being killed by the Israelites. Don't be like Balaam and have your foot crushed, always let your donkey be your guide.
We then made donkey ear hats to help us remember this lesson and listened to the song "Give a Little Whistle". It was so much fun!

Rob Bell

2006-03-01T11:18:00.000-08:00

"If there's anything I've learned, or I'm learning, it's that whatever you're feeling in that moment, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay to feel numb, and for me it's like anger, shock, denial, it's okay. Or just that feeling like you don't feel anything at all, and that's okay too. It's okay to have no answers, and no explanations, and maybe even no words."

"Maybe you had that sense of guilt that comes with it; 'If only I would've done this, that wouldn't have happened,' or 'If only I would've been this way - if I would'vedone something differently.' And so we can become racked with guilt. And it like seeps in and it becomes a part of us and we're not even aware of it. Don't, don't let it happen."

Oh the adventures...

2006-02-27T15:21:00.000-08:00

I have been super busy lately. My brother Justin came to visit for 12 days and we had a really good time together. His nickname here is "gamer" because he played video games pretty much the entire time I was at the church. I drove him to Minneapolis to the airport, that was an adventure. I am not a city driver at all. I survived and didn't get into an accident at all. I think I could learn to be a more agressive driver if I had to be. Justin and I went to the mall of America and went on a rollar coaster. We stayed the night in a hotel and after dropping him off at the airport I went back to the mall and went shopping. I found my way home by myself and was exhausted when I got there. Yesterday I went cross-country skiing for the first time. I am soooo out of shape, but it was a blast! Thanks Mandi for taking me!

Wow, the big 2-4

2006-02-20T13:42:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I'm twenty four already. Where does the time go? I remember being nine and excited about being thirteen. I thought being a teenager would be the coolest thing ever. Man was I wrong. Teenage years are way over rated. I also remember being excited for the day when I could write with a pen in school. I would not go back if I had to. I must say I thought I would be way further along in life than I am now as far as having a family goes, but I guess I can't complain. I'm glad I'm where I am in life now. Though I don't know where I'm going or what the future has to hold and that's a little scary I am content. At the same time I cannot wait to be settled down and done moving around. Well, so far I've had a great day and I know it's only going to get better. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT AND CASSADY, MY B-DAY BUDDIES!!!!

Tubing is fun

2006-02-13T15:42:00.000-08:00

On Sunday I went tubing with the 3rd to 5th graders. We had a blast! I hated the whole snow and bitter cold in my face while I was going down, but I guess it was worth it because I kept going. Everytime I got to the bottom I had a handful of snow stuck in my t-shirt under my coat and my sweatshirt. Eventually some of it loosened itself and went down my snowpants. Brrrrrrrr. My back was numb by the end of the day. I was very thankful though for the shake and heat packs that I got for my Birthday last year to put in my boots. My toes were toasty warm. It was nice getting some fresh air and playing in the snow for the first time this winter. Does anyone have any fun winter activities they've done this year in this weird weather?

I like being busy.

2006-02-08T14:00:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated lately becuase I'm been busy and I don't think too many people look at my blog that often anyway so I've sort of lost my incentive. I've been writing papers for school (mostly journals and DOH collaterals) and keeping up with my work at the church. I've been meeting with parents talking about their kidergaten to second grade children to see how I can create a ministry that will best fulfill the needs of these families. As of right now what I'm planning is having a game time when the kids first get here, letting them run around for a bit. Next having snack time followed by some worship (I like action songs). Then would be the Bible story. We would conclude with a craft of some sort. The Bible story will be focused on a character of the Bible and someone would dress up and pretend to be that character for the entire service. They would monologue or do some sort of a skit acting out the Bible story. These meetings will be every other Monday with and outing of some sort once a month, probably Sunday afternoon. We're going to focus the outings on families, getting the kids to invite their parents. This will hopefully bring some parents into church. That's pretty much all the planning I've done so far other than a few details. Any suggestions?

Look what I made!

2006-01-30T15:36:00.000-08:00

The mittens, most of you have seen (some form of them at least), but the hat is brand new. I made it up myself. Well, not totally I took two patterns and put them together sort of. For all of my knitting girls if you want the pattern email me and I'll send it to you. It was a fun project and took up some of my time sitting in front of the tv. I don't know what to work on next, but I need to think of something fast. Watching the news all day gets to me sometimes. There's really nothing much else to do. I live about 15 minutes out of town and don't know anyone enough to hang out. Plus everyone my age is either married or engaged and no one wants to hang out with the new single girl. I do have lots of little kid buddies though. This one little girl runs up to me and jumps on me, climbing up me everytime I see her. She's cute so I don't mind.
Oh, and I'm pastor for the day today and tomorrow. All the leaders have gone an a retreat so I am holding the fort down. It's just the secretary and me here so the pastor asked if there are any "issues" if I would deal with them. So far so good. Though I was in charge of the Followers group tonight. That's the ministry for 3rd-5th graders. They meet every other Monday and go on a trip once a month. We're going tubing on Sunday. I am officially in charge of children's worship. How I got that job I have no idea. Apparently Jeremy has never heard me sing. But it's fun. I love action songs!

Our God is so Holy

2006-01-25T19:45:00.000-08:00

To be in the presence of a Holy God, we are so underserving and yet He desires to be so close with us. I can understand Moses feeling inadequate when God spoke to him through the burning bush. Here is the Lord of lords asking him to go lead His people. What a challenge that would be. I struggle with feeling incapable of doing what other people ask me to do because I fear disappointing them I can't imagine God asking such a huge task of me. Still even in my doubt and my inabilities He's asking me to allow myself to be used by Him. To my fear He says, "I will be with you" and "I AM WHO I AM so go!"

Busy, busy, busy

2006-01-23T14:10:00.000-08:00

This is my desk space. Boring, I know. I'm trying to think of what to do to "spice it up." Have any ideas? Yesterday was a crazy day for me. Every Sunday they have someone read the scripture that is going to be preached about and I was asked to this week. I read Exodus 3:1-15. It's quite long especially when standing in front of about 200 people when you only know about 3 of them. I had to do this for two of the three services they have. I also had to lead the Sunday school lesson today. That went pretty well, I know more of the children than I do the adults in the church. I shared about Jesus washing his disciples feet so I had some of the kids come up and I washed their feet as I talked. It was a lot of fun actually and I must say I'm pretty proud of myself. From 8:00 am to about 12:30 I was running around like a mad woman getting things ready. The rest of the day I sat around the house with my host home and we watched old Westerns. John Wayne is my new hero.

Ummmm....I'll consider it.

2006-01-22T07:13:00.000-08:00

Saints And Sailors..

This is where I say I've had enough
and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound,
a trophy display of bruises
and I don't believe that I'm getting any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
and I'm thinking awful things
and I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering the house
like I've never wanted out
and this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
'cause they would never do,
I would never do.

So don't be a liar,
don't say that "everything's working"
when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint
but you curse like a sailor
and your eyes say the joke's on me.

No, I still hate dashboard, though I am more inclined to listen to it, I won't!

I've left my mark in Wisconsin

2006-01-17T13:55:00.000-08:00

This is my ride. She doesn't like the snow or the ice, but she gets me from here to there...usually. Yesturday morning we had quite the battle getting out of the driveway. If there was any ice as all under the tires she wouldn't budge. I turned and manuvered her every way I possibly could. I had it in drive and it was going backward, so I put it in park and still she went backward. I spent about 20 minutes going a little bit forward and a bit more back before we finially made it out of the driveway.

Last night on the drive home I got into my first accident ever. I hit black ice going about 50 mph. I slid to the left lane, spun around backward and landed in the ditch rear first, on the wrong side of the road facing the opposite direction. It was quit the adventure. It took the tow truck a while to get it out, but all is well. The van is fine and I am fine. They are now looking into getting me a jeep to drive instead. That was my big adventure for the day. Maybe I'll bond with the jeep more than I have with the van.

Things so far...

2006-01-16T17:27:00.000-08:00

Things have been pretty busy with my internship thus far. Wednesday night was youth group. That was a lot of fun and I'm going to start leading a small group from now on. Thursday I had lunch at the public primary school, grades k-2 (These are the kids I'm going to be creating a ministry for) They are so cute. I went to a board meeting Thursday night, and I actually had a really good time. Friday and Saturday I had off, so I just sat around the house, unpacked, and relaxed. Sunday was church. I was here at 8am had Sunday school at 9:40 and attended the service at 11am. After church we went rollar skating with "Followers" (grades 3-6.) It was a blast, but my legs were very soar, especially my left leg and my ancle is swollen. But it was well worth it. Today was my first actual day in the office. I had 2 staff meetings and we had "Followers" tonight. So, things are going really good I'm really enjoying being here and can't wait to get more involved!

Here I am!

2006-01-15T07:06:00.001-08:00

What a trip I had. I got to bed around 2am and woke up at 4am. I arrived at the airport an hour before my flight, waited in line to check in only to find out I was in the wrong line. I had to be on the other side of the airport. I ran there, convinced him to squeeze me in and had to pay $50 because my luggage was 4 lbs too heavy. By now I was running late. I ran up the stairs and the security line was about half a mile long. I asked a security guard if I could go ahead because at this point my flight was leaving in 15 minutes. She glared at me, shook her head and pointed to the end of the line. About ten minutes later as I neared the front several people who were also running late just ran to the front of the line and went through. I was not happy. It was about this point that I realized I did not have my wallet on me....awesome. I got through security, ran to my gate, surprise, I missed my flight by 5 minutes. Grrrr...

I called my mom and she did not have my wallet, the number for my internship was in it so I did not know how to let them know I would be on a later flight. I re-traced my steps and asked a bunch of workers if they had seen my wallet, no one had and there was no lost and found. Finallly someone suggested I check at the police station. I walked in and he knew what I wanted, handed me my wallet and I was off. My connecting flight in Chicago was delayed 2 hours, so I sat around for 3 hours. It was a long, long trip.

I made it safely and I'm loving it here. The people I'm working with are great and the couple I'm living with are so sweet. Even though I haven't been here long, I love it. I miss you all so much, take care.

This is a new concept

2006-01-07T18:59:00.000-08:00

Well, this whole blogging thing is a totally new idea for me, so bare with me as I learn what on earth I'm doing. I'm getting ready to go on my 6 month internship in Wisconsin and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to keep in contact with everyone. I thought that this would be the best way to let everyone know what's going on while I'm there. I will do my best to keep up with it as much as possible.

For those of you who don't know, here's the game plan: I drive to Syracuse on tuesday, visit my bestfriend hwo has a 5 week old baby (Baby's ARE cute!) and fly out of Syracuse wednesday morning at 6 am. I arrive in Mineappolis and have a three hour drive to Wisconsin. I will be interning at a church of about 600 people I believe and helping with the senior, junior, and pre-junior high youth groups. I will also be creating a ministry for k-2nd graders, sort of like a children's youth group I think.

I'm very, very excited and can't wait for everything that the future has to bring. It's going to be really hard to be away from everyone for six months, especially my family and my boyfriend, but I know that this is where God wants me to be.