Lost

Have you ever felt like though you were surrounded by people you were all alone? Completely lost in the crowd? For the last couple of days I have felt so incredibly lonely and I don't know why. People have been showering me with love and I know they're genuine, but I still feel empty. I have this deep aching in my heart for past relationships. I long for friendships that I've lost touch with over the years or even months. I'm so tired of investing in people and becoming so bonded to them then having to leave and not see them again. I miss family, friends from high school and college and yes Grand Manan, campers that I've become extremely close to over the summers I've traveled, and even the people here; I've been so busy lately I haven't spent time with anyone in what seems like forever. I'm working two jobs now and life has just been go, go, go. My internship has been extended until September which is awesome and I'm waitressing at a private resort which has been a ton of fun. I've just been so busy and all this thought about the future and where I'm going and what I'm doing is just stressing me out so much. This whole "growing up" thing has just got me thinking way too much. I'm probably thought about just about everyone I've ever met in the past week and I'm just missing so many people right now. Ok, that's enough of my whinning for the night. I'm off to youth camp tomorrow and I can't wait to see people from Bethany.

God had it covered!

Tonight was youth group and I was on my own. The senior and junior high youth pastors are out of town and I was left responsible for both groups. Normally the two are totally seperated the entire night and have no interaction with each other. I only work with the senior highers so I know very few junior highers and had no idea what to expect. I also didn't know how many other leaders would show up, for all I knew it would only be me. I was just informed a few days ago that the person scheduled to preach would not be able to make it so it was up to me. We just finished a series and are getting ready to begin a new one, so a random sermon would be really awkward. After praying about it for a while and consulting with some people I decided that we would use this time for our mission teams to share about their trips. We sent out a group of youth to New Orleans and another to Washington D.C. I had planned on asking one of the leaders (whom I thought was going to lead worship)to put together a slide show for me of the teams' pictures. Well, this afternoon I realized that he was gone for the week. Oh no. Right before this discovery someone msned me saying she would help put together the slide show if I needed it. Well, that was covered, but what about worship? Our other worship leader is taking some time off from youth group now and spending time with his family. Hmmm... Just then I heard some music coming from the sanctuary. Oh snap! There were a couple of guys in there just jamming and I knew they had both the ability and love for Christ enough to lead us in worship tonight. They gladly accepted as this would be their first chance to actually lead worship. To start with it was only them; one singer, an acoustic and an electric guitar. As service approached we gained a drummer and two more vocalists. They did a great job! The entire evening went smoothly and it was great to hear all the adventures the teams had been on. There also ended up being six other leaders so I wasn't alone. During all the confusion falling through of plans, I somehow didn't get stressed at all. God completely held me in His hands and carried me through. What a faithful God have I.