Whose time is it anyway?

I am a huge snuggler, as a little girl I loved cuddling with my mom and dad. When my brothers were little I loved it when they climbed up on my lap and sat with me. In my teenage years my favorite times were when I was babysitting and holding a little one in my arms while they slept. College days, spooning was the thing. I love to snuggle. Some days just feel like curling up on the couch and cuddling days, but my only snuggling buddy these days is my kitten. Unfortunately she has a mind of her own and sometimes when I want to just sit and hold her, she doesn't want to be held. I own her, she's my cat, but the time I get to spend with her is according to her terms and her mood.

The other day when I wanted to cuddle and she just wanted to play I was thinking, that's just like us and God. My time with God is based on my terms, when I have free time, if I do that day. If I feel like reading the Bible or not, if it's a convenient time for me to pray or not.

I had to drop my kitten off at the vet to have her de-clawed and de-womanized a couple of weeks ago and what a mess she was when I picked her up. Jasmine never cries, it's almost like her voicebox is broken, she'll open her mouth and push with all her might but nothing comes out. As soon as she saw me she would not stop crying. She was covered in blood from the surgery and pawing at her cage only made it worse. When I got her home I changed into grubby clothes, grabbed a towel to wrap her in and just held her. As soon as I had her in my arms she stopped crying for the first time in half an hour and she just looked at me. She blead so bad that it soaked through the towel and onto my shorts, but I didn't mind I just wanted to hold her. She was so weak and tired that she did nothing but sleep for three days. I wanted so badly to help clean her up, but I had to let her do it herself because I could re-open her cuts and her saliva has an antibacterial in it to help her heal. She had to do it on her own. All I could do was hold her and hold her I did. One night I slept on the couch, laid a towel over my stomach (for the blood) and held her through the night. Since her surgery she has been the most cuddly cat ever and I love it! Last night she slept with her head on my stomach and her arm wrapped around my waist. She's so precious, I love her.

I believe that sometimes God allows us to go through hardships so we can draw closer to Him. I know for myslef whenever I'm going through a tough time I just cling to God for support and comfort. But we have to clean out own wounds, that's the hardest part because we have no strength left and it feels impossible. It's our mess to take care of, that's how we grow stronger (James 1:2-3 favorite verse ever). Through it all God is just wanting to wrap us in His arms and hold us, mess and all. It's through our trials that we desire His presence more. It's a shame that we need the hard times to make us realize what a good thing we have in Him.