Whose time is it anyway?

I am a huge snuggler, as a little girl I loved cuddling with my mom and dad. When my brothers were little I loved it when they climbed up on my lap and sat with me. In my teenage years my favorite times were when I was babysitting and holding a little one in my arms while they slept. College days, spooning was the thing. I love to snuggle. Some days just feel like curling up on the couch and cuddling days, but my only snuggling buddy these days is my kitten. Unfortunately she has a mind of her own and sometimes when I want to just sit and hold her, she doesn't want to be held. I own her, she's my cat, but the time I get to spend with her is according to her terms and her mood.

The other day when I wanted to cuddle and she just wanted to play I was thinking, that's just like us and God. My time with God is based on my terms, when I have free time, if I do that day. If I feel like reading the Bible or not, if it's a convenient time for me to pray or not.

I had to drop my kitten off at the vet to have her de-clawed and de-womanized a couple of weeks ago and what a mess she was when I picked her up. Jasmine never cries, it's almost like her voicebox is broken, she'll open her mouth and push with all her might but nothing comes out. As soon as she saw me she would not stop crying. She was covered in blood from the surgery and pawing at her cage only made it worse. When I got her home I changed into grubby clothes, grabbed a towel to wrap her in and just held her. As soon as I had her in my arms she stopped crying for the first time in half an hour and she just looked at me. She blead so bad that it soaked through the towel and onto my shorts, but I didn't mind I just wanted to hold her. She was so weak and tired that she did nothing but sleep for three days. I wanted so badly to help clean her up, but I had to let her do it herself because I could re-open her cuts and her saliva has an antibacterial in it to help her heal. She had to do it on her own. All I could do was hold her and hold her I did. One night I slept on the couch, laid a towel over my stomach (for the blood) and held her through the night. Since her surgery she has been the most cuddly cat ever and I love it! Last night she slept with her head on my stomach and her arm wrapped around my waist. She's so precious, I love her.

I believe that sometimes God allows us to go through hardships so we can draw closer to Him. I know for myslef whenever I'm going through a tough time I just cling to God for support and comfort. But we have to clean out own wounds, that's the hardest part because we have no strength left and it feels impossible. It's our mess to take care of, that's how we grow stronger (James 1:2-3 favorite verse ever). Through it all God is just wanting to wrap us in His arms and hold us, mess and all. It's through our trials that we desire His presence more. It's a shame that we need the hard times to make us realize what a good thing we have in Him.

Who Am I?

As I was doing dishes tonight (they were way overdue) I was talking to God about where I am in life right now and I began thinking, "who am I?" That is a very complex question that's very difficult to answer because it's always changing. Who I am today is not who I will be tomorrow or who I was yesterday. Every year, month, week, day God is changing me and shaping me. Who am I? I don't know.

If you were to ask me that question 25 years ago I would say...
I am a baby
I am a daughter
I'm grandpa's pride and joy
I'm grandma's "Baby Bunting"
I am completely dependant on others

20 years ago...
I'm a kindergratener
I am a counter
I am a writter
I'm a Christian
I'm daddy's little girl
I'm a big sister
I'm Nana's rival for the remote control

15 years ago...
I'm a fifth grader
I am a total geek
I'm a four eyes
I'm friendless
I'm shy
I'm a bike rider
I'm a big sister to four

10 years ago...
I'm a freshman in high school
I'm still shy
I'm pretty lonely
I'm "the new girl"
I'm extremely insecure, but getting better
I'm a drama team leader

5 years ago...
I'm a freshman in college (again)
I'm a cafeteria server
I am a best friend
I am a youth major

4 years ago...
I'm a sophmore
I'm a Christian Education major
I'm a cafeteria cashier "clicker"
I'm the student fellowship association president
I'm a summer team member

3 years ago...
I'm a junior
I'm a D-group leader
I'm a cafeteria weekend worker
I'm a peg leg
I'm a fairly good ping pong player

2 years ago...
I'm a senior
I'm a girlfriend
I am the Blazer Deli Snackbar cook
I'm a Euchre fanatic

1 year ago...
I'm an intern
I'm single
I'm a friend
I'm a strong, mostly secure woman
I'm a mentor

Now...
I'm a youth pastor
I'm a Wisconsinite
I'm a home renter
I'm a cat owner

Hopefully one day...
I'll be a guitar player
I'll be a house owner
I will have a dog
I'll be a wife
I'll be a mother
I'll be a good cook
I'll be a woman of God

I'm still changing, growing, being molded and shaped into God's image. Everyday has new challenges and new trials to help bring me to maturity and completion (James 1:2ff) Who am I you ask... I don't know; it changes every minute.

All Creatures

My thoughts are pretty scattered today, so I hope you follow what I'm trying to say.

Inspired by a friend's blog and in much need of some time alone with Jesus I went for a bike ride with just me and my Zune. The very fist song that came on was "All Creatures of Our God and King" sung by David Crowder.
"All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing
Oh praise Him, Halleluiah"
As I rode along thinking about the words, "all creatures" and "lift up your voice" I passed a few birds, a couple of emus, a lama, donkey, horse, and some goats. "All creatures...lift up your voice" All God's creatures are stirring with praise for Him. Even these creatures are able to lift up their voices and praise the King, yet we as people who are able to have a personal relationship with Christ don't give God the praise he's worthy of.
As the song continued...
"Though burning sun with golden beam
Though silver moon with softer gleam
Oh praise Him, oh praise Him Halleluiah..."
I looked at the bright sun that was warming my right side then something caught my eye on my left side, it was the moon. "Oh praise Him"
I got to thinking of the Luke 19:40 (thanks Matt) '"I tell"' you he replied, "if they keep quiet the stones will cry out."' Again, God's creation will praise Him and too often we fail to.
I continued on hearing the crickets over my music and the bugs hitting my teeth and sticking in my hair. Coincidently enough the Doxology came on,

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost"

The bugs didn't so much bother me even though I rode through swarms of nats and could feel 50 of them hitting my face every 5 minutes, but I thought "hmmmm, here are some more creatures to praise God's name"
My thoughts were pretty scattered, but overall I think we need to be more intentional about praising our Creator. My most intimate times with God are when I am just praising Him and sometimes life gets so distracting that I need that reminder.

PS. I really did see all those animals on my 16 mile bike ride.

Treasure

This weekend has been extremely busy but awesome. We had a cookout with all our teens and their families and there was a total of 48 people there. We ate, gave out prizes, and played a game of kickball. I don't think I've played kickball since junior high and I'm just as bad at it now as I was then. I went for about a ten mile bike ride with my teens and went to a carnaval. It's very rare for me to get motion sickness, but I was so sick after about 3 rides and really sick after 6. My stomach was still woozy the next morning. I wonder if that comes with age? Also this weekend I watched the movie Pirates of the Carribean. At one point the ever so wise Jack Sparrow says, "treasure can be more than silver or gold." Jack has a compass that points to the one thing that you want the most and in the second movie his compass is very confused as to which way to point. I'm pretty sure that if I had a compass like that it too would not know which direction to point in. My question for you this time is what is your treasure? What is the one thing you want more than anything else? Matthew 6:21 says, "where your treasure is there your heart will be also." So where is your treasure, where is your heart?

You CAN Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

First of all I'd like to congratulate all the 2007 Bethany graduates. Way to go guys! Welcome to the real world. When I graduated last year Pres Medders (the college president) challenged me to learn something new every year. Ever since this concept I've been praying about what I should focus my energy on this year. Well, instead of just focusing on and learning one thing, the Lord has placed several new tasks in my lap and I've really enjoyed learning. So far this year I've learned to be a youth pastor, to live on my own, to budget my money and pay my own bills. I've just started learning how to play guitar for the past few weeks. A few months ago I taught myself how to crochet and am in the process of making a purse. I just started learning how to make a quilt and it's going to look sweet Now I am learning to drive standard. I've known for several years now how to drive stick, but I've been really unsure of it and haven't driven on the road at all until last night. I started car shopping the other day and a few hours later my car gave up. Right now I'm borrowing a standard car from a couple in my church so I had to learn and I'm doing pretty good. This year has pretty much been a year of learning new tricks, things I've always wanted to learn and finally am. I love learning new stuff. What are some things you've been learning and challenging yourself to be stretched in?

AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok, I have been just crazy busy lately, but it's been really good. Things are going great with my youth group. Easter week we had 5 teens make first time commitments to Christ and 3 re-commit their lives!!!!! God is doing some amazing things with our group and I'm so priveledged to be a part of it. I'm really excited for summer because I love warm weather and I get to go to all three district camps this year, kids camp, junior high, and senior high. This will be my fourth year in a row at senior high camp. I'm excited to see people from Bethany and I just love the whole camp experience (that's why I traveled for three years). This will be the first year that most of our kids have ever been to camp and it's going to be a ton of fun. As far as my personal life goes, my sister is moving in with me next month I believe. That will be interresting because we are polar opposites, but I think it will be good. I lived with Charity for a year I can handle my sister;) (Luv ya char bear). Oh, and something I'm extremely excited about is I'm learning how to play acoustic guitar. I've been wanting to learn for about 5 years now and I finally am doing it. And I was just given a fishing pole and tackle box so this year I will go fishing for the first time ever in my life! I can't wait. I also was given a bike for my birhtday so I've been spending a lot of time biking and I really enjoy it. I haven't been on a bicicle since probably 7th grade and my fist trip was 18 miles. Let me tell you I felt the burn the next day. So lots of new and exciting things are going on in my life and all is well.

Crazy Cat Lady

I'm terribly sorry for the lack of postings lately. I have only been on the internet long enough to check my three email accounts and respond to any necessary messages. Life has been picking up and time on the computer has been extremely brief. Since my last post I have turned 25, a quarter of a century. On my birthday everyone I talked to got this far off look in their eyes and began remembering where they were in life at my age... married, bought their first house, x amount of babies and on and on. I'm starting to wonder what qualifications are needed to be a crazy cat lady...
1. living alone
2. having at least one cat
3. spending most of your time with your cat
4. scheduling your day around not leaving your cat home alone for too long
5. when people are taking about their children your cat stories fit in the
conversation perfectly
6. You walk in the house proclaiming, "honey I'm home" to your cat
7. You spend more time in the cat isle deciding what the best food is than you do in
the grocery department finding food for yourself
8. A "girls night out" has become you and your cat on the couch eating ice cream and
watching chic flix
9. You spend more money on toys for your cat than entertainment for yourself because
when your cat's happy you're happy
10. and your favorite part of the day is climbing into bed and cuddling with your cat

Did I miss anything?